No, Not One!

Getting Started

          Was it finally time for me to tackle my book? It had been two years since I’d moved from a house to a condo, giving away two-thirds of my Corningware Cornflower collection.

          Donating over 400 pieces truly lightened my load. It was incredibly freeing for me and a wonderful contribution to a local Christian thrift shop that instilled the love of Jesus in everyone. Those pieces have already lasted for over fifty years. I hope they continue to serve families for years to come creating memories like the ones I cherish.

          It would take a two-day drive for me to reach my destination and my new life. It was a bittersweet time. My son drove my car as I cried the whole way. Oh, how I now understand Lot’s wife and recognize the dangers of looking back! There is no need to look back when God delivers you from something. Accept that the Lord knows the beginning from the end and trust that He has a plan for you.

          My condo was in a sufficiently quiet area. I had ample time to gaze out over God’s marvelous craftsmanship. What a view! I settled in and stored my remaining Corningware pieces to keep them safe. As I closed the doors and walked away, I didn’t expect it would be a year and a half before I returned for them. Once I settled in and unpacked, I intended to go through them. But then came the distractions, one after another, and I lost track of time. It wasn’t intentional. It never is. Such is life.

          As I sifted through the dusty boxes filled with binders and scraps of paper on which I had scribbled my research notes, it felt like I was seeing some of it for the first time. I was slightly impressed by how far I had come. I would need to spend days familiarizing myself with where I had left off and figuring out what I still wanted to pursue.

          I knew that everyone interested in Corningware would absolutely love my book. They would learn about the pieces and be able to determine for themselves which ones were valuable. Then there were all the matching accessories.

          The children’s playsets truly evoked that warm, fuzzy feeling in me. When I looked at those sets still in their original box, I felt like I was revisiting the Sears & Roebuck Christmas catalog again. I remember circling the items I hoped to receive that year for Christmas.      Every year, everyone I knew couldn’t wait for that book to arrive in the mail. We would spend hours looking through all it had to offer. There was something for everyone. That was a child’s kickoff to the Christmas holiday season. How I missed that feeling! Good times. Simpler times.

          Back in the day, toys were placed on layaway and paid off before the holiday began, rather than being charged to a credit card, where they could accrue interest for years. Gifts were for special occasions only, not everyday occurrences. I believe that made you appreciate whatever you received so much more. Handmade gifts were especially cherished.

          I knew I had to return to my childlike faith. Separating from the life of compromise into which I had slowly backslidden would be painful. Pulling myself out would take time. (Did I mention that it would hurt in ways I hadn’t imagined?)

          Putting down one sin is hard enough. I had spent too long shopping in the world of sin, accumulating a whole list of sins I now had to try to return. This would hurt on many levels. But I knew it would be well worth it if I could discipline myself enough. Anyone who has struggled to overcome something knows that the greater the struggle, the greater the reward. Once you succeed removing one sin, it gets easier to go after the others.

          Living alone, I knew there could be no more excuses. The only person I could blame if I didn’t follow through would be myself. That thought comforted and terrified me at the same time.

          The cost of eating what was convenient or available at the time really affected my health. I had so many changes to make that I didn’t know where to begin. There were numerous conflicting stories: no fat, low fat, full fat, bad fat, good fat. My trips to the grocery store would take hours as I searched for this brand and fought to understand all the new terms.

          I needed recipes to cook my own food every meal, every day. The sink was constantly filled with dishes, and I still had so much reading to do. It was overwhelming and exhausting. How was I ever going to figure it all out? This led to procrastination and anxiety—lots of it.

          My stress level increased with every trip. Eventually, through trial and error, I began discovering all sorts of healthy foods, cleaners, and toiletries that worked for me. I started writing everything down in a journal so I wouldn’t forget. It serves as a handy reference, much like my Corningware book. I felt I must be heading in the right direction. I was making progress and getting healthy.

          I had sold my soul to the world, and it was time to reclaim it. It would take time to replace all the negative areas of my life with positive ones. I would lay all my physical pains and mental heartaches, my social struggles and my spiritual failures, before the feet of Jesus and seek forgiveness. I had to repent before I could move forward. It was humbling. I still tear up when I think about it. God is so good.

          Owning my mistakes was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Repenting done right hurts. Did I really think God wasn’t already aware of the terrible things I had done or failed to do? He knew. God sees everything. He simply needed me to take a good look at myself. Only then could He show me the plans He had for me.