No, Not One!
Chapter 11
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
I must admit that when I moved two short years ago, I had no idea how to answer that question. I just knew that I wanted to be left alone to blend into the woodwork. People hurt. Relationships hurt. I just wanted to worship my God in my own way, privately.
At first, the quiet was new and peaceful. Then the silence became deafening and consuming. Every decision was mine and mine alone to make. I felt overwhelmed. Some days I moved through tasks quickly with clarity and ease, while other days I could barely function. Those were my healing days.
I prioritized as much as I could and slowly began making subtle changes. This was occurring in every area of my life. My awareness was hypersensitive. That was how I discovered who I was. After that, figuring out what I wanted became obvious. Kathleen was right.
All alone. No job to go to. I had little to no communication with the outside world. My phone went from ringing fifty times a day to barely ringing fifty times a year. I never got around to getting cable TV. Those shows just increased my anxiety.
God finally had my full attention. I had lost so much weight. Only 105 lbs. and a size 0, I needed clothes that didn’t fall off. I went to the local thrift shops and dove in. So many choices. Who knew? At home, my wardrobe consisted of basic black, white, grey, blue, and an occasional color or print.
That wouldn’t work here. It was hot! There were so many colors and prints that it was hard to focus. Building an outfit has always been challenging for me. Unsure of what to choose, I picked up a few things that caught my eye and left feeling somewhat defeated.
It’s funny how nothing looks appealing without a positive outlook on life. When you don’t feel good mentally or physically, nothing feels right. The next day, I was still not satisfied with my appearance. What was I thinking? So, I went back to the store day after day. Five different thrift stores nearby became my new circuit. Different days, different sales.
I knew all the salespeople, and they knew me. They were lovely people- dedicated workers and volunteers. Someday, I hoped to reach a point where I could lower my pain level enough to volunteer for a few hours a day, even if it was only once a week. How I missed having a purpose!
This was how God slowly molded me into who I was always meant to be. At first, I wore happier-looking clothes, or perhaps the clothes were wearing me. Then people began to compliment me. This became a regular occurrence. My hair had grown longer, and the flowing grey curls started to bounce in the wind again.
Believe it or not, I started feeling younger. The years seemed to drop away, and they didn’t matter anymore. Age didn’t matter. I couldn’t help but notice that my anxiety was all but gone. That’s when my whole outlook on life and mood changed.
The cheerful clothing was paired with colorful costume jewelry that made me smile when I looked at it. I was drawn to vintage designer pieces from various countries, which seemed to be everywhere in the thrift shops I visited almost daily.
Most of the time, it served as my sole exercise and my only social interaction apart from church or the pool. Matching pocketbooks and colorful hats seemed to be abundant. With no one to dissuade me, I was drawn to my preferences. It was eclectic. It was modern vintage. It was joyful. It was bold. And it was rubbing off. I was becoming empowered. I never would have guessed that.
Now I’m okay with being noticed, standing out, laughing, and making people laugh because laughter is healing. Clothing can be joyful! It’s an outer expression of your inner self, a self you may not even realize exists. If laughing at me helps heal you, so be it. I'm glad I could help. Stop by regularly, and I’ll post my outfits for us all to enjoy. LOL
So, yes, I want to be “that g’ma,” the one you see wearing the crazy hats, the unique-to-her clothing, and costume jewelry to match everything. It’s fun and makes people smile. That’s what I like. I just love to see people smile.
It hurts me deeply to see sad people. I feel their pain, which makes me sad too. I know what pain feels like; I experience it as well. I live with physical pain every day of my life. But don’t let your pain define you. Let it go. Let God define you. Live!
I want to capture people’s attention. I want them to remember me as someone who looks up, points to God, and gives Him all the glory. It’s all about association. It’s time to shift your association from this world to the next before your change of address card arrives. After that, it’s too late.
I’m sure much of what I’m saying won’t please many people. My words may offend. If I’ve offended you, I didn’t mean to. (I am the chief sinner here. I get it.) I am only trying to highlight areas where I was wrong.
You see, life is short. I’m not sure how much longer we will have to spend together. It’s not that I don’t value what you think; it’s just that I value what He thinks so much more. I finally have my priorities in order. I just want to tell you about the Truth, Jesus. It really does set you free. But you have to allow it to. Let go of the world and grab onto God.
This isn’t about me teaching you or your kids anything. I firmly believe that as a parent, you have the right to raise your children as you see fit.
As a parent myself, I’ve experienced all of this: the sleepless nights, the headaches, the heartaches, the sacrifices, and the mistakes. We want the best for our children, and they rely on us to provide it. They are the future of this fallen world, and we must strive to do better.
But there simply isn't enough time in the day for you to look up every little thing. A bit of assistance in finding the topics you are truly looking for would be appreciated.
A comprehensive resource for healthy recipes, nutrition tips, and updates. A section dedicated to crafts. Perhaps information on new languages like Hebrew (and cursive… chuckles). A section for missions that everyone can afford to participate in.
Prayer is desperately needed. (While you are at it, please pray for me and send me a note saying that you did. That would be so nice to receive.) How about a section titled, ‘Homeschooling? Yes, you can! This site needs to list all kinds of special needs advocacy tips with links to sites that can provide more information.
Let’s start an online thrift shop while we're at it: But One Christian’s Closet (Appendix C). Experiment and discover a style that makes you smile. I had an amazing time finding mine. It was truly a blast from the past.
This is about becoming the librarian I have always wanted to be: doing what I enjoy- reading and researching- while providing you with the tools I discover in my search to get closer to Jesus. Let me help you too.
I’ll do the legwork and post it, so you have more time. More valuable time that you have so little of. This way, you can make memories. Memories with your children that they can tell their children. Memories that can never be taken away from them, even if or when you are.
Please take the time to create memories that will define who God is to them and who He wants them to be. They will truly treasure this for a lifetime. Demonstrate how important this is to you. Show them how significant they are to you.
Please take them to Sunday School. Make time for it. Allow them to meet like-minded friends they can journey through life with, starting at the earliest possible age. They will appreciate it someday. All those ‘corny’ songs will stay with them for life. Give them that gift. Point them towards their Savior at the earliest age possible. Being able to rely on God will lift a huge weight off their shoulders.
That was my problem: my sentences always started with me and my thoughts. If God is the only one who can make all things possible, my sentences should begin with God’s will, not mine.
So, I began talking to God throughout the day, asking for His guidance in everything. I prayed before going out and gave thanks when I returned, even after simple trips to the grocery store. This brought me such peace. I became more mindful of every step I took, and everything I did began to take on new depth and meaning.
Each person I met provided another opportunity to talk about Jesus with both believers and non-believers. If He was a part of me and defined me, it would be impossible for them to truly know me without my sharing about the One who saved me. I wanted them to experience the joy I felt. I wanted to share Jesus with the world. This would be my dream: Make Heaven Crowded! Now I had three dreams, proving it’s never too late to dream.
God loves us just the way we are; that’s true. But just as you want the best for your children, He wants the best for us, His children. He loves us too much to leave us as we are. Amen!
In the NKJV, Romans 12:2 states, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Now that I’ve submitted my life to Jesus, I believe the Good Lord will not take me home until I fulfill His plans for my life. I can’t wait to see what that is!
No, Not One!
Chapter 12
Your Reservation's Waiting
Get your order in now. The kitchen’s closing soon.
You can do it. It really is just that simple. Just stop signing up for the same old ________. Change your order.
Daily Special of the House
One healthy life full of grace and mercy, topped with love, and overflowing with joy. Leave off as much sorrow and pain as possible.
Have you ever noticed that as you walk to the table at a restaurant, you have to check out what the people at the other tables are eating? All those smells! Everything looks so good. The question always arises:”What’s that? " Followed by, " I’m going to order that.”
Yet, when the menu arrives, you always order the same thing. Usually something sinfully delicious but terrible for you. It tastes so good while you’re eating, but then you get home and wonder why you didn’t stop eating sooner. You feel terrible.
Stop choosing convenience. Stop consuming anything that's available or what everyone else in this world is having. Stop visiting the same familiar places while expecting different outcomes.
Be mindful of what you’re eating. Get out of the Devil’s Drive-Thru. You know that sinful food is not good for you. Stop making excuses. We have all stopped and cheated before because it was quick, easy, or comforting. Changing what you eat requires commitment and sacrifice. You are worth it, and God deserves it.
Prioritize your life around like-minded people, and you can make this work. The journey doesn’t seem nearly as long when you are walking and talking with others. Before you know it, the end is in sight. Sin causes regret and guilt, which leads to anxiety and depression. If you knew what all that was truly doing to your gut microbiome, you would be running in the other direction, saying, “You can’t make me eat that!”
All those man-made ingredients are poisons that damage our bodies. Man must stop trying to improve on what God provided. These substances were created in a laboratory and were never meant to be put into our bodies. The same is true of sin; man must stop attempting to alter the Ten Commandments. Sin torments when it enters you, making you sick. It needs to be expelled for everyone's good!
Such Is Life: The world provides a buffet of visually tantalizing sins all laid out for you to indulge in. The devil has placed a sign that says ‘free’ of charge. Funny thing, nothing is actually free; sin is enticing to partake in, but what goes in must come out. What goes in is the cause; what comes out is the effect or the consequences. Everything has value, so someone must give freely for you to receive freely. Someone has to pay the price. In every action, there is a reaction. A cause and effect.
· God gave us life and choice.
· We chose sin.
· Jesus chose the cross. This means that he gave up his life for yours; He chose you.
· When you accept Jesus into your life, you choose Him. This means you work daily to release your sins and grow closer to Jesus.
You can’t just accept Jesus into your life, walk away from Him, and think that you receive these ‘free’ blessings while your work is done. No, when you choose any path in life, there is a cost.
If you desire to be a mechanic, you go to trade school to learn how to fix cars. You can’t simply start a job and learn as you go. That would be a recipe for disaster everyone involved:
For the Owner of the Establishment: You misrepresented him. You could have cost him a customer, possibly for life. (God)
For your boss: You didn’t trust him enough to ask for help. Don’t make him look bad in front of his boss. (Jesus)
For Other Mechanics: You must learn any craft before heading out into the world trying to wield it. If you don’t fix the car properly, you could tarnish the reputation of all mechanics. (Christians)
For the Customer: Your lack of effort to obtain the necessary information before attempting to take the car apart and put it back together again could have caused them to lose trust in the establishment. (Others)
For the Car: You wanted to help fix the car but didn’t really know what to do. This is irresponsible. You are not a mechanic; you want to be a mechanic, and the schooling that makes you.
For the Tools: You wanted to use the tools to fix the car but have no idea where to start. You need the right tool for the right job, or it could end up worse than it was before.
For You: You haven’t learned anything. You will make mistakes, and there will be consequences. You must have a ‘Learning Heart’ to accept guidance. (You)
The meanings of words are important. When God grants you grace, you are required to study and demonstrate your worthiness.
In the NKJV, 2 Timothy 2:1-17 sums all of this up perfectly saying, “Be Strong in Grace: You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops. Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things.
Remember that Jesus Christ, of the seed of David, was raised from the dead according to my gospel, for which I suffer trouble as an evildoer, even to the point of chains; but the word of God is not chained. Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.
Approved and Disapproved Workers: Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer. “
The aromas of this world will try to pull you in every direction, but Jesus is still the sweetest name you’ll ever know! Even the strongest Christians can succumb to the devil's desires when they have starved themselves of the Word of God that sustains us all. Your body has a set amount of space. As you let sin in, it pushes Jesus out, and vice versa.
If you overeat, you’ll feel nauseated. Keep eating, and you will get sick. Remember: It never tastes the same coming back out as it did going in. Continue, and one day, you may be too sick to vomit it out, although you will wish to God that you could. It is human nature to wait until you have had your fill of sin before begging God to remove it from you. All the damage sin causes, slowly and painfully killing you, could have been avoided.
So, what do you do? Change restaurants. God’s Kitchen is right across the street. This place serves the most heavenly delicacies, the true manna of life. It will enrich you in ways you never thought possible.
The bottom line is, if God didn’t make it, you shouldn’t partake of it. If man has altered it, then you have no idea what it could actually do to you. Why are you eating it? Does that even make sense? If you have given up on yourself, then try for your family and friends who are watching. Please don’t set the example of plates overflowing with sin. Your children learn from your actions. It will be hard enough to keep your children from the cafeteria line at school; don’t let them find sin sitting on the counter at home too.
Don’t deprive your children of the vital nutrients they need to grow up healthy. The Bible is God’s provision. Give the Fruits of The Spirit a try. They will surely satisfy!
In the NKJV, John 6:35 says, “And Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”
