Appendix D

Make the Most of Life’s Simplest Moments!

The hunt to find what has been hidden...

Setting the Stage

          Begin by rereading No Not One and making notes as you go through the pages. Reflect on your current self and the person you aspire to become. 

          A simple way to begin is by folding a piece of paper in half. Reflect on a time when you felt genuinely content—not just happy. Happiness represents life's peak moments, like winning an award, which might only happen once or twice. Sadness reflects the lows, while contentment represents how you feel in between, embodying the vision of your everyday life. 

          On the other side of the paper, jot down how you feel today. Make sure to engage all your senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch—as you describe your experience, including the who, what, when, where, why, and how. The more detailed you are, the greater the benefits you'll gain. 

Content                                                                                               Today

Working on a project with my son.                            Woke up in extreme back pain.

BBQ early dinner on the grill by the pool.                 Sunny day… nice cool breeze.

Revival Book & Website advancing.                         Did laundry & went grocery shopping.

Beautiful sunny day.                                                     Bible study & praise music.

Plans with friends this weekend.                                Baked cookies for the church social.

          Use a highlighter to mark any similarities between the two columns. This serves as your foundation. Next, review the remaining items on your list and tackle them one by one, aiming for positive change. By turning negative aspects into positive ones, you'll enhance your overall outlook on life.

          Some goals can take a journey to attain, and that’s perfectly fine. Maybe you fondly remember working on cars with your dad, and while he isn't around now, you can still connect with that passion. Consider visiting a car show for a fun day filled with exploration. 

          Take some time to outline the steps that will help you reach your dream.  Perhaps heading back to school or saving up for a down payment could be on your list.  Keep in mind that plans can change; mine definitely did. The key is to have the confidence to take that first step and the humility to seek assistance when necessary. You must begin somewhere, with someone, at some point. Otherwise, how can you lead yourself and others?

          Just make a genuine effort. Like life, every scavenger hunt uncovers unexpected insights, potentially offering revelations about your friends and family. Take note of these observations. Designate a separate page for each person, writing their name at the top. As you discover more about them, record your notes along with the date. 

          At the end of the year, list all their attributes on a nice sheet of paper and present it framed as a gift to them titled “Wonderful Things I See in You” or something similar. You can revise it each year. You never know; they might save them. Maybe this could give them a precious insight into themselves that they didn’t see. Maybe someone is secretly funny, or works great with kids, or is a talented baker. Now is your chance to find out.

Circle a date on your calendar today. Time has a way of slipping away. 

          With your date selected, it’s time to begin. First question: what name would you choose for your family if competing as a team? And what about individually? If you designed a bumper sticker, what would it say? How would you introduce your family and friends to others? Remember, perspective alters everything. 

          What does your bumper sticker say about you? Although it can be tough to accept how others see us, recognizing this truth can lead to personal growth and transformation. The impression you give may not match your true intentions and could be understood in ways you didn’t plan.

          Be honest about your sticker, even if it's only for yourself. Our goal in life is to continuously change and grow, aiming to become more like Jesus.

          Think about this: Do you believe that each day you are either drawing nearer to or drifting away from God? If you spend time with God only on Sundays, who is your guide for the remaining six days? Does that mean you're taking one step forward and six steps back each week? It's worth contemplating.

     This reminds me of another story. You know you have arrived when… Last week, while my son drove me to the store, we spotted a bumper sticker reading, “Do you follow Jesus this closely?” I glanced at my twenty-seven-year-old, unmarried son, anticipating his typical sarcastic remark. 

          Christian belongs to a generation where many believe they are better off staying single. They realize they can’t make anyone happy. To be honest, this belief holds some truth. You can’t make someone truly happy because you’re not God. Happiness comes from within. This generation has witnessed too many divorces and wants no part in it. So, why tie the knot? They believe cohabitation could be the solution.

          In today's world, you are assessed based on your car, clothing, and the lifestyle you can offer. Sadly, many recognize that relying solely on a single salary is insufficient for survival. Even when two people are employed, affording a down payment on a condo, let alone a home with a yard in a desirable neighborhood, remains challenging, if not impossible. 

          I often wonder why it feels like there’s never enough these days. That wasn’t how I felt growing up. Despite having little, I always sensed we had enough. My grandmother emphasized the value of friendships and other relationships to me. 

          No matter what we had, there was always something special to share with others. I fondly remember two elderly neighbors. We would bring plates of food to them before sitting down to eat ourselves. We always had plenty to go around for anyone who happened to stop by, friend or stranger. My mother spent a lot of time at the church, where she devoted herself to collecting and distributing food and clothing as part of her everyday routine.

          As a child, I gained valuable lessons from giving to others. We often fed the cantankerous old lady next door. My grandmother would sit with her, arguing about nearly everything. I used to question why we helped her, and Grandma explained that when you have more than someone else, you share with them. I guess it seemed to me at the time that they didn’t like each other. But that was just her way with everyone. Grandma understood that. My grandmother also had a way with people. I don’t ever remember her yelling or saying anything nasty about anyone.

          There seems to be a reluctance toward marriage, possibly due to a desire to keep options open for something—or someone—superior. Everything appears to be compared against alternatives that are better or more desirable. I was raised with the belief that more isn’t always better. In fact, sometimes less is more. More money can lead to more bills or more stress, which I certainly want to avoid.

          Although I understand the concept, it seems that society as a whole finds this an acceptable way to achieve one's goals. When I was growing up, there were distinct classes of people. It appeared that blue-collar workers dated and married other blue-collar workers, while white collar workers did the same. One married someone familiar with their upbringing. 

          Here’s my understanding of being equally yoked in marriage: It can relate to aspects like social status, ethnicity, appearance, and emotions. However, if gaining your parents' approval was important to you, you would select a partner who aligned with your family’s values concerning God and country. 

          You showed respect to everyone because it honored your family name, which meant everything. When you stepped out of line, you had to pick a switch from the backyard. Then you received a gentle reminder across the back of your thighs, ensuring that when you sat down, you remembered not to do it again. I’m not saying that was right. I’m just stating that stepping out of line and embarrassing your parents always resulted in consequences that made you think twice. At this point in my life, I am thankful for that.

          I recall when my son graduated from high school. I felt utterly heartbroken to hear that one child’s parents would both have to miss their child’s graduation. This child had sought emancipation and had received some kind of temporary restraining order, stopping them from attending in person. 

          Now, before you get your feathers ruffled, let me also say that I worked with children and social services for almost twenty years, and my son and I saw things that people were never meant to see, no less experience. Pure evil at it’s finest. Indelible images that forgetting would be considered a gift from God. I know that some children experience abuse and abuse is never acceptable. 

          But I don’t see correcting your child and guiding them as abuse. There comes a time when children need to become independent. That doesn’t mean they get to live at home, be supported, and do whatever they want. Children need to become accountable for their actions and finances at an early age.

          My son often came to work with me because I raised him as a single parent. I frequently took on extra jobs to earn enough money to provide the extras. We shopped at thrift stores out of necessity. 

          Looking back I realize that my son didn’t receive the time, love, and affection that a mother should ideally offer her child. Each parent has a distinct role in the family. Trying to fulfill both roles left me exhausted and my son confused. He noticed other families where fathers returned home at night and spent time with their children. 

          He was young and harbored resentment over my decision to leave and divorce his father. My son once conveyed that I deserted his father during a time when he needed my support. 

          My best friend, Renee, was there during that time and felt deeply sorry for me. She shared my situation with her father, Manny, and I’ll never forget his words. A Jewish Holocaust survivor, he said, “You are a good mom. I see you with your child from the window. You are kind; I know how you care for my daughter. You respect my commitment to being a good Jew, and I admire your dedication to being a good Christian. Life brings both sorrow and joy, though not always simultaneously. You truly reap what you sow.      While your son may not appreciate your efforts now, one day he will grow into an adult and understand the reasons behind your choices to protect you both. Circumstances alter cases.”

          I now understand that my son’s resentment stemmed from his frustration with things he couldn't control. He yelled at me because he felt comfortable expressing his genuine emotions. Additionally, he was angered by my decision to relocate near my mom, which meant leaving his friends behind and changing our living arrangement from a house to an apartment. It was hard for both of us when his friends received new clothes and cars from their parents. 

          It seems that often in the world, individuals use others as steppingstones to reach their final destination. It’s a bittersweet truth that many people experience when they believe they are in love. They may envision themselves getting married, only to discover that the other party has no desire to.

          With the internet and cell phones, there are simply too many choices for children to navigate. This only adds to their confusion. Explaining to your child how you make decisions may seem silly, but that different perspective can significantly narrow their choices, possibly alleviating some of their stress.

          When I attended school, the dating pool was much smaller. You chose from the people nearby. Today you can not only talk to but also view people from all over the world.

          I was waiting for my son’s snarky reply, and just like on the day of the accident… BOOM! He surprised me with this: “If they are asking how closely you follow Jesus… Hold on, Mom. We’re gonna have to ram ‘em. Then we both laughed. That’s a memory I’ll keep in my treasure chest. 

          Your children hear you. You think they’re ignoring you all the time. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. Either way, they still hear you. How interesting would it be to know how your children really see you?

          In that instant, I sensed I had truly arrived. I felt as if I were five feet tall. It was one of the most incredible moments of my life, a moment I still look back on with a smile. While I recognize that we may have disagreements ahead, this memory will always be a source of comfort for me.

          Keep in mind that they listen to you—to every word. The good and the bad. The joyful and the sorrowful. The positive and the negative. They sense and understand more than you think. 

          All of this is internalized. It influences their view of life. They will notice when you are happy or sad. Such is the nature of life. However, be aware of your responses to various situations. They will absorb your actions and reactions to develop their own understanding. Strive to help them recognize more positives than negatives. Instill hope in them.

          These memories play a crucial role in forming their identity. Regrettably, you'll discover too late that they notice things you believed were concealed. If you are experiencing abuse, they not only see it but also sense it. They may feel as powerless as you do. This situation is detrimental for all parties involved. 

          Scavenger hunts are designed to be enjoyable and lighthearted, allowing you to connect with each other in a new way. A change of scenery can facilitate this. The uncertainty of what lies ahead creates a sense of anticipation—in a good way. Begin with the fundamentals and build from there.

The Who

PLAYER #1 __________________________________________________

PLAYER #2 __________________________________________________

PLAYER #3 __________________________________________________

PLAYER #4 __________________________________________________

PLAYER #5 _________________________________________________

PLAYER #6 __________________________________________________

          Let everyone sign their name their own way. Code names could be more fun. If there are a lot of you, pick teams. The more participants, the merrier.

          Create anticipation the night before by preparing a piece of paper to put on the fridge containing a small non-monetary wager. The winner could get extra dessert or get to choose the next place to go from a list you have already prepared. Losers could have to wash the car while the winner sits in a chair saying, “You missed a spot.” Encourage everyone to write their own messages in their unique handwriting. Don't worry about spelling. You'll cherish each handwritten note for years to come. 

          Stroll past in your gym attire, stretching as if ready to triumph. Next, discuss healthy competition with them, ensuring it's age appropriate. If you discover multiple pieces of Corningware to enhance your collection, there can be several winners. 

          This is a combined effort to build a set of family cookware that can be passed down to the next generation. Find a place to display it. China cabinets are everywhere at thrift stores. You can pick one up cheap. You can clean it up and paint it if need be. Do it as a family. Play Christian music. Laugh and dance around. 

          Encourage your children’s active participation with this important family project. Create potholders or doilies to accent your collection. Choose recipes and together, purchase the items you will need.

          Make it something to look back on. Time is short. It goes by quickly. Enjoy your children while you still can. Maneuvering the grocery store and cooking simple foods in the kitchen will be invaluable to them as a young adult. Make this experience so enjoyable that your children will want to invite a friend to join their team. 

          Be careful. People are competitive by nature. If you make this interesting and enough fun, you might be expected to plan one of these events every weekend.

The What

          Log or take photos of the “weirdest” items found. Vote on a winner. ____________________________________________________________

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          Educate them on the significance of exercising their God-given right and duty to vote. Utilize this moment as a teaching opportunity. It’s an ideal chance to share your values, including when you last voted, the reasons behind your choice, and the motivations that drove you to participate. 

The Where

          Pick Place/Area: Thrift Shop, Flea Market, Yard Sale… ____________________________________________________________

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          Make a day of it by choosing an area 10-30 minutes away and starting in a different direction each time. Plan to do some local sightseeing or stop for ice cream on the way home. Try to create something memorable. Be creative. 

          Please try not to make this about money. It’s important to show your children that there are many wonderful experiences to enjoy that cost little to nothing at all. Nature is a gift. Explore it along the way.

          You can’t put a price on a picnic lunch, which you can have just about anywhere. Have a BBQ out back. Invite your neighbors or friends from church. Show off the Corningware Blue Cornflower that was found on today's adventure.

          Keep the leaves, sticks, stones, shells, extra photos, or whatever mementos were collected from the trip in a plastic bag on display with that piece of Corningware. Take a photo of the child with the piece. Date it and put it with the group.

The When

          Consider scheduling a monthly scavenger hunt. Print your own format to keep in a binder or purchase The Family Adventure Binder online, which includes 12 preprinted booklets. Use these during family outings or vacations. Make browsing through the book part of your end-of-year tradition. Vote on the best trip and discuss why it stands out. Create actual prizes and humorous awards.

Best Trip: ____________________________________________________________

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Worst Trip: ____________________________________________________________

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What could be done differently? ____________________________________________________________

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 Suggestions for possible trips: ____________________________________________________________

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 Who found the most pieces of Corningware? ____________________________________________________________

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Their Prize: ____________________________________________________________

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Who found the most unusual piece? ____________________________________________________________

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Their Prize: ____________________________________________________________

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The Why

          What’s your why? What do you hope to gain from these adventures? ____________________________________________________________

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          Christ died to give us life, a more abundant life. So live. Don’t just go through the motions. Live a life worthy of His death. Don’t merely exist. There is another way, a better way. Only you can make it happen. 

Extra Credit: 

Did everyone get to write something down about this adventure? ____________________________________________________________

Did you put it all away in your Family Adventure Binder? ____________________________________________________________

The Now. The Fellowship.

          Remember, you were on the lookout for a piece of Corningware Cornflower for your collection. It almost slipped your mind since you were having so much fun, right? You found an excellent piece of cookware that can be cherished for generations at a fantastic price. Now it's time to give it a thorough wash. Do you have stains that won’t budge? Use Bar Keepers Friend and a cloth. 

          You can even take a photo of the before and after, kind of what we looked like before and after God removed our sins. It makes for great dinner conversation. Give your kids an opportunity to tell you what they think has improved in their lives. And if you haven’t complained about anything during the day, they might also share something they could use your help with.

          Did anything particularly memorable or insightful resonate with you? Write it down in a personal journal that you keep private. This might serve as a valuable reference in the future. Typically, when kids feel comfortable and are having fun, they tend to relax and may share thoughts they normally wouldn’t express. 

          Keep an eye out for self-esteem issues, signs of bullying, or friends' names you don’t           recognize. Don’t make a big deal. Just take a mental note. 

          Life revolves around connections rather than collections. Select a recipe and include it in your book, using a dedicated recipe page or a recipe card. Food offers a chance for fellowship, as certain aromas can trigger memories. For instance, green bean casserole and sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows both bring back vivid recollections for me. Prepare these dishes throughout the year, especially when you notice someone facing difficult moments, to inspire feelings of comfort and kinship.

          No one leaves the house while dinner is being prepared. Everyone has a task. This is a group effort. Many young adults are reliant on fast food today because they can’t boil water to make spaghetti or fry an egg to put on toast. Get them accustomed to the kitchen now. They can learn to do their own laundry at a young age too.

          Use your imagination. Make it an event. Come up with a theme. Set the table. While you're at the thrift shop, look around for some inexpensive dishes, matching or not. Pick a color scheme. Grab a tablecloth or two. Use cloth napkins. Put those dishes on the table and wow! 

          Remember to take plenty of photos throughout the day. No color printer? Spend the money to order them and have them sent to you. You can even use photo pages to include them in your Scavenger Hunt Bible year by year. Cultivate an emotion. Repeat this process often. 

          Teach your family to recreate that comfortable feeling using all their senses. This will be invaluable when they face anxiety and its companion, depression. Show them how to keep anxiety at bay from the start. It’s never too early.

Attention to Detail Required

          When you sit down at the table, relax. Enjoy. Laugh. Engage. Don’t get up. Do not answer the phone. All phone calls can wait. You’re with your family now. Show them how important they are to you, and demand this in return. 

          Always remember to set an extra plate for the Lord or anyone He sends your way. Demonstrate the true meaning of hospitality. Let everyone in your life know that God is your priority, followed by family, and then work. This is essential.

          Do you have a family member or know of an elderly church friend who eats alone? It’s a great opportunity for fellowship. We are all heading to the same place, so we might as well get to know each other now. Food always tastes better when it’s shared. Invite them for dinner.

          Check with your pastor or his wife. Ask if someone in the church needs to be blessed with a freezer meal. Ask the Lord to put someone on your heart.

          That is how this all started. I spotted Tammy and her husband, Simon, from across the room. I watched them and studied Tammy closely. I immediately noticed how she carried herself and how she engaged with others. I knew she was many years younger than me, but I also recognized that she had something to offer me. I made a beeline for her. 

          She noticed me approaching, and it felt like she could sense everything I was about to say even before I spoke. That’s the incredible power of God and the gift of prayer. Miracles unfold without needing mere mortal words. In that moment, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “You have something to offer me. I can learn something from you!” 

          Then she said, “Are you my answer to prayer? I have been praying for someone to come to mentor.”  That's when I said, ”Here I am.” We laughed. God smiled. The rest is history.

          Life has brought its ups and downs since then, and I truly appreciate how Tammy sends these wonderful pictures via text with just the right words at exactly the right moment to brighten my day. I really want to let her know how much that means to me.            Plus, she was the one who connected me with Amy from Arising Women and Arising Authors, which has been such a blessing. Without Amy, there may not have been a revival on May 25, 2025. No, Not One might have been a technical manual about my Corningware Cornflower Collection.

          See how God works? Everything is connected.

God is Holy. Show Respect.

          If you call yourself a child of God, when you approach Him, you need to give Him more respect than you would give anyone else. Don’t treat Him like your friend. Don’t try to manipulate Him or win Him over. He sets the example. You follow. This is the only way to have a joyous life. 

          The Bible says to respect your parents, and life will go well for you. How do you approach God? How is your life going? There is a correlation. 

          How do you feel when your children disrespect you? What about when they do it in front of others? How do you feel when they say they won’t do it again, yet continue doing so repeatedly? This is exactly how God feels about you and me.

          Remember to pray and give thanks for the wonderful time you had together. Share something nice about each person’s involvement in the day. Show them their role and value on your family’s team. Boost their self-esteem by acknowledging their strengths, as they might not see in themselves what you see.

          Make valuable, uplifting memories. Replace those old negative memories with new positive ones quickly and easily. Bind them in an album. The Bible says what is bound on earth is bound in heaven. Bind your family with the love of Jesus. Start your Family Adventure Binder today.